Sometimes I see things that move me. And the thought of having so keeps me going.

I’ve had a blog hiatus, and boy did things go on a roll these past weeks. Well, let’s start from the very beginning.

 I almost lost my sanity when I went through a process called job application. I’ve attended a handful of interviews where I managed to tell my interviewers that I was all that. I am so convincing that I actually believed myself. I have gotten a few offers, which are good, for it made me think—think through sleepless nights, mind you. And the life changing question:  for love or money?

It isn’t really hard to answer given my free spirited attitude. I frolic. But the idea of not being able to afford my frappes is daunting. And I quote my thesis partner, “What is mabuhusan ng malamig na tubig?”

I now work at a business daily as a researcher. So needless to say, I am broke. But I get to write and be published, fine by me.  

I am able to graduate with a degree in BS Economics, cum laude. Some of you might roll your eyes and say, “But hey isn’t your college an honors mill?” Boy, I earned that. However, I will agree that graduating with a degree in economics is one great irony of my life. Only the heavens know why I did so. Gosh, the thought scares me.

Don’t ask regarding the speeches I've heard. Jon Santos’ was the best. For the summas, it is another story. One’s a bad case of cliché, and the other’s a bad remake of the classic Temptation Island. I don’t mean to belittle them. Hey, they're summa cum laudes. I just really didn't like their speeches.

However, I find this valedictory speechby Kristine Marie Reynaldo, magna cum laude, from CAL moving.

Life for me is fast paced, really. Spending time with friends is now a luxury. And I find it funny that we actually talk about “adult stuff”, like work, compensation, and love when we get the chance to be together.

Eeew love. It’s only now that I realize that I fell in love this year. Why, oh why? Oh well, now is the time we all get to move on.

Next, please. Ha ha.
 

Dearest mortals,

Haaay, what's wrong with the world? 
 
It's unbelievably hot in my country! Sweet angry jeezus, I've never experienced my skin getting burned by staying inside my room. And what's more unbelievable than this is that the largest power provider in the country suddenly decides to raise their rates. Hello, you're not supposed to use the principles of economics to justify this. This is bordering on oppressive. How do you think the majority of your consumers, whose income barely increased by 1% within the year, cope up with your 32.8% increase of charge per kwh? All of these with power shortages and rotating black-outs. What type of government will allow this? Ay que barbaridad!  

picture taken from chuvaness 
 

• Yung liham na inaalay mo sa iyong iniirog-- sa iyong pinakamamahal,  at nilalagay mo sa mabangong sationary. Pagkatapos ay ididikit mo lang sa iyong talaarawan o di kaya'y itatago mo baul ng lola mo.
• Yung liham na ikaw lang dapat ang makababasa, pero mababasa ng nanay mo o di kaya'y ng tsismosa niyong kasambahay.  'Di kalaunay mababasa ng lahat ng miyembro ng pamilya mo.
• Yung liham na tipong kinikilig-kilig ka at tipong nasa cloud 9 ka't pinaliligiran ng mga cherubs na naka-lampin kapag sinusulat mo.
• Yung liham na may mga  guhit ng puso na may pana at bonggang sulat na "adonis  twinkle" o di kaya'y "priti dagul" sa dulo o sa gilid ng papel.
• Yung liham na pinagtutuunan mo ng panahon kapalit ng medyor na papel mo kay propesora kurdapia o sa exam mo sa calculus.
• Yung tipong ginagamitan mo ng balatkayong ngalan tulad ng: coffee crumble, apple pie, strawberry jelly, banana-q, rambutan at iba pang pagkain para lamang hindi malaman ng kasambahay mo ang pangalan ni prospect.
• Yung liham na parang ganito:

• Yung liham na minsa'y may lamang tula na parang ganito:

I’d love everyday to be like yesterday. I woke up to the sound of copulating birds. It was awesome.  How many times would you witness birds, you know, mate on your window? I remembered law and econs class, for there was a case we read about the science of adultery and there were tons of examples of copulating birds. Oh hello UP,  Jau (imajauneer) , Janica (fishinabubble) , and Vina (vina10) ! 

I then went to school to distribute pictures to Octoberians. None of them came. So I decided to drop by Ecosoc’s CDC Regonition Day, and saw my favorite CDC kid Eric. Good lord, he grew up so fast. I felt time fleeting. It seemed that it was just yesterday when I applied at Ecosoc and went to a CDC. Now, everything had to be different.

I did not finish the CDC, as I had to go to the publisher to start on some layouts. Justin,  Arianne (arnique ), and I hailed a cab to go to Repro. It was very productive layout afternoon! I really liked the way the book was coming together. Mica (bleu_director ), your article was really good. It was so nice to had been working with people who have both talent and values. Certainly, life wouldn’t just hand that combination to you every day. After two hours of laying out three spreads of features, we decided to eat at Leoning’s. Well, because one couldn’t eat at McDonald’s when he had bitched out at the cashier the week prior. Food at Leoning’s was fulfilling. I would love to try their Palabok next week.

We decided to call it a day by 4 pm. Arianne dropped me off at Cubao. I was about to go home, but it was such a glorious day. It would have been an insult not to notice. I walked around Araneta Center. Even though the high rise condominiums weren’t there before, Cubao had always been an irony. A few blocks away from a nouveau riche haven is the beautiful chaos that is downtown Cubao.  Oh Philippines, you would always be a wonderful juxtaposition. I, then, found my self at Cubao X. The former shoe expo was revived as an art hub; very striking. I stayed at Mogwai, Cubao X, and ordered food and two bottles of beer. It was interesting to sit in a corner, eat, drink, light  a few sticks, observe people, and write.I was supposed to follow Leslie (leslie79 ), Jamoy, and Jenny as they wallow in academics at Technohub. But I received a text message from my sister that the whole family would watch Julio Inglesia’s concert at Araneta coliseum. The prospect of good music was really hard to resist. And true, everything about it was good.

Everyday should be like yesterday; filled with music, art, great people and plain awesomeness.

Let me begin by saying that my mother is a domestic helper. In other people's homes she cooks, does the laundry, cleans the bathroom, and takes care of the infants. She put me through school doing that kind of work because that was the only thing she could do. She never finished high school, never enjoyed bourgeois luxuries. And later tonight, we'll be going home to our hovel in a squatter area in Taytay, Rizal dubbed Coco village because most of the houses are made of cheap, coco lumber.

And yet, few of my classmates know that. Most are comfortable with their neat picture of the world. Comfortable with cute, little concerns in the University like projects and papers, reports, boyfriends and girlfriends, torn hymen, cheap thrills in the lagoon, concerts, cell phones, night lives. And in this age that flaunts globalization and the advance of technology, we are led to believe more and more that we have entered an age of solidarity and  unity. An age where there is interconnection in a global village that continues to spawn genuine development for all mankind. Indirectly, it leads us to a complacency supported by the lie that the world is alright. After all, we feel alright. The pain and suffering exists somewhere out there to a few insignificant people.

I have walked among you. But lost in anonymity, I am assumed to be no different from anyone even by some of my friends. When I was a freshman, a close friend of mine enjoyed lambasting the squatters, the jologs, for their bad behavior, their bad smell, their propensity for breeding baby after baby they cannot support. My friend did not realize that I was from that background. He did not realize that I grew up watching my friends die of sickness, or get pregnant too early, or get injured or killed in petty street wars, or go to jail, or get assigned to the typical, monotonous lifestyle of the poor. And the assumption that everything is alright grows with the lie that we are more or less the same, that we are united, that the dawning of a new world order has started to bring the sought-after solidarity.

But the right approach to true solidarity and unity is not one that denies difference, denies the pain of the oppressed just because it is not beautiful, or, as our country's President says, "It is too depressing." The right approach is to expose the truth, highlight the difference and work for its remedy. For as long as there are poor people, Moros discriminated against, oppressed women, abused children, and multitudes of other categories consigned to the margins because they threaten the image of unity and stability that feeds the established status quo, there can be no true solidarity.

But the creativity of the artist, the magic of their potent images, the works of the men and women of letters --- these have the power to transform, power to wake our people from the stupor that gives them dreams that are lies. Power to destroy myths and create a world that is beautiful and true.

Of course, the arts and letters can be used the other way. The way that sells out, aids corruption, subverts the potentiality of what is good. But will you? As graduates we are in a phase that continues to taunt us with the question, "Who do you sell your brains to?"

It is easy to be complacent. To believe the lies. But we shouldn't. We owe it to our teachers who taught us patiently despite the low salary, to our parents who worked so hard for us, and to our people whose blood and sweat built this institution and continue to put us through school. We owe it to them to become the prophets of this age who will preach the true gospel of solidarity. Only then can we all be truly one in a world where it would make perfect sense to celebrate the fact --- squatter ako, katulong ang nanay ko --- and we are proud because, and not in spite of, the fact.

I'm sure, all of us have issues about which we keep silent because of the power of the lies. 

This is the day to be free. I call on you --- fellow scholars and artists, unite!

Sometimes, you just feel bleak. It’s only a few weeks before you become officially unemployed, and issues on employment have never been this serious. Somehow, it still amuses you to receive a 1,000 word email from a potential employer stating how they find you as someone who’s smart, has good academic and leadership background, and that somehow they don’t find you fit to work for their company. Probably because after reading it the only reaction you get from yourself is KEBS, for you know you really don’t want to work there anyway. You find it hard to balance what you want to do and what people expect of you. Your dream job doesn’t pay well, so you keep on applying for jobs you prolly won’t enjoy. After all, according to the world you’ll have bills to pay, a mortgage to stress over, and a life to live.

You live through the remaining of your college days as if there’s nothing to worry about. You still arrive late at your first class, and go home without a sun in the sky. Disgust fills your veins as you read a badly written manuscript you’ve just handed over to your professor. You sleep in the campus library after a night of cramming or contemplating over a potential lover. Fair nights, dinner with friends, movies and plays to watch are still written on your planner. Somehow, there’s something odd. Beside the list of plays you’ll watch this month is list of job interviews you’ll have to go to. You whistle to the tune of Mmm Bop. You notice that another student looks at you almost questioningly; you know he’s a freshman. You suddenly agree that there’s some growing up to do.  

Maybe that’s just you.